Sailor V vs Oren Ishii
by alizep
Summary: Based on SMMFFC challenge. Minako's interpretation of her time spent as Sailor V after a few drinks. Senshi/Shitennou.


This one-shot was written for the Sailor Moon Monthly Fanfiction Challenge. All reviews are appreciated. Enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, Sailor V, or Kill Bill. But it would be pretty cool if I did....

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"You have to understand," Mina continued enthusiastically, "the dark streets of London are a dangerous place to be at the wrong times of the night. It was only through my superior training as Sailor V that I was able to defeat him."

If anyone wondered if Mina had had too much to drink that night, they need to wonder anymore. The first sign was the increasing tone of her voice as she proclaimed herself to be the world famous Sailor V, next was her inability to remain seated on her stool through her wild gesturing as Kunzite's arm had been the only thing separating her from the floor.

"So tell me again how you defeated the yakuza single handedly?" Zoicite asked her as he leaned over his beer. Ami quickly reached forward and grabbed the bottle before it was almost knocked over by his chin. She didn't know what was worse – that Mina's stories became more unbelievable as she drank, or the fact that Zoicite encouraged her by becoming at least as inebriated. The thought of the two of them unsupervised for a night out on the town passed through her mind, and she shuddered at the concept. Note to self, never let that happen.

"I would love to tell you!" Mina exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. "There were 88 of them against me, one blonde woman with a vendetta."

Jadeite could be seen sitting out of Mina's line of sight making a perverse gesture with his fist that resulted in Rei smacking his arm. A martini glass was held daintily in her hand, the contents not even sloshing from her movements as she rolled her eyes at the blonde.

"So there I was, in the middle of the restaurant, katana blade in hand. Each one came at me rapidly and I barely had time to plan out my next move!" Mina looked around the room as if waiting for a Yakuza member to make themselves known at any moment. With her pointer finger she gestured for Zoicite to lean in close to hear her speak. Zoicite bent forward and Mina leaned on the table with her elbows, their noses almost touching. "Blood sprayed everywhere….." she whispered loudly.

"Oh…." His eyes opened wide as he leaned back into his seat.

"Once they were all defeated I headed out to find _HER_," Minako continued as Kunzite pulled her back into her seat. As she reached for her drink, Kunzite quickly grabbed it and handed it off to Makoto who had been sitting next to him, trying not to laugh. Minako's hand landed on the empty table and she frowned, looking as if she suddenly forgot what she was doing. As Kunzite's attention was turned to Makoto, Usagi giggled and gave Minako her drink. Minako smiled and brought the glass to her lips, posed to drink. Kunzite frowned as he looked back to see the daiquiri in her hand, poised to drink. Rather than down the contents, she put the glass back down on the table where it was quickly taken away by Mamoru. "And there she was," Minako continued, as if her own interruption had never happened. "Out in back, just us, face to face, snow falling around us. I withdrew my katana and charged for her!"

"Ok, that's it," Rei interrupted. "Mina, that never happened."

Mina turned and looked at her with wide eyes, her lips turned into a pout. "But, but…"

"Was that maybe a scene from the movie we all watched last weekend?" Jadeite asked her. His dry tone earned him a sharp look from Kunzite. "Oh come on," he said to his fellow Shitennou, "Sailor V didn't defeat O-Ren Ishii, Uma Thurman did." Now Zoicite turned to Jadeite, shooting him an injured look. "You can't seriously be buying this can you?" he yelled at the less feminine blond. It was Ami's turn to now give Jadeite a disapproving look. Jadeite sighed and leaned back into his seat, pulling Rei onto his lap. "Fine, continue," he said in defeat, waving in surrender with his free hand.

Zoicite turned his attention back to Mina, her hands clasped tightly in his. "So then what happened?"

"Well here's where things really start to get crazy…." Mina said solemnly, nodding her head slowly.


End file.
